Playing House

Wake up and have breakfast, then play with the baby, make lunch, do some laundry, do dishes, go to work, come home, go to bed, wake up and do it all over again.

I can remember playing house as a girl and immitating all of the daily activities I saw Momma doing. I can remember thinking how wonderful it would be to have my own little home and make cookies all day long. Well I suppose that I finally have that all, ofcoarse it's not quite as simple as it seemed. I am enjoying having my own space. Bella and I are getting along quite well in our cozy little home. There are still a few boxes hiding in corners, and pictures get moved around all the time, but it's coming together nicely. We are getting into a routine and getting organized; both of which make me extremely happy. I think that I work much more efficiently with my own little system and organization. I still visit mom's house every day (well in fact I am here right now getting ready to eat dinner with them) I can't believe how much life has changed. Some days I still feel like a little girl just playing house. But now I have an actual little baby that I am responsible for raising...what an amazing gift and responsibility. Although most days I don't really feel as though I know what I am doing, I think that things are going pretty well for us.

Each day I think Bella and I both grow in our new life. She learns and experiences something new, and so do I. I've always loved being a student and constantly learning. My friend Jennifer and I used to joke that we would be content being lifelong students and always experiencing new things. I think I've stumbled into the most natural and advanced method of achieving that, being a mommy!

I'm the Mascot!

At one of Laura's baby showers, Bella got to dress up like a little duck and be the mascot! Doesn't she look cute!

Bella and Bradon

Bradon just loves Bella. He is always wanting her to play with him and sit with him. He brings her candy when he sees her. What fun it will be when Dawson gets here and there are two babies for Bradon to love on.

I'm a Happy Girl!

Playtime...Bella loves to play by herself every morning. She talks to herself in the mirror. Stares at the colorful wall hangings in her room. Tells all her secrets to Best Friend. It's so fun to peek in and to see her enjoying her world. Each new discovery is truly amazing.

Brandon and Bella

Bradon and Bella like to hang out together. This particular evening they were having a heart to heart discussion about life.

My Butterfly Outfit

Momma and Laura surprised me by dressing Bella up in her wonderful butterfly outfit and bringing her to Chilis to see me. I was so excited to see her! Everyone at Chilis was naturally impressed with her (I mean who wouldn't be)

Look, It's Me In The Mirror!

The Froggy Song

Bella has a favorite song. We sing her a little tune I learned at church camp when I was younger. It involves sticking your tongue out and making silly noises. Bella loves it! When we first started singing it, she smiled and laughed. She now joins with us by sticking out her own tongue and attempting to make the same silly noises. It is an amazing site to see this little bitty girl sticking her tongue out. My smart beautiful daughter never fails to impress me. I thought I was supposed to be teaching her, but really I think she is the one teaching us. She makes my life easier by being such a self content and smart baby.

The frog song is complimented by one of Bella's stuff animals. After my good friend Amber's shower gift of frog items, we purchased several more. One of which we named Best Friend. Best Friend is an adorable little frog that goes everywhere with us. Bella likes to chew on him. Best friend, Bella and I sing the frog song over and over again each day.

It's You Again!

I think my favorite time of day would have to be mornings. This is a strange sentence to be typing considering I have spent the past four years of college hating morning classes. I have changed my mind because of the wonderful greeting I have each and every morning. It is amazing to watch Bella wake up and see this sense of wonder and excitement on her face. She looks confused at first but then starts looking around at things with a huge grin on her face. It is almost as if she forgot about everything overnight and is seeing everything for the first time. She looks around at everything and then focuses in on me. Her face lights up and she gives me the most wonderful smile. Her arms tighten up and she kicks faster than I would have ever thought possible. She and I lay together and talk for the first 10 minutes of every day. I can't imagine a better spent morning. Bella stares at me as if she spent all night wondering where I went and then suddenly I appear and everything is all better. Bella is now cooing and immitating my movements. We lay there and as I talk to her, she opens and closes her mouth, talking back to me. What a reason to get up!

Mommy's Day Out

Well after three months of officially being a mom, I decided that it was time for a day out. I never leave Bella except when I go to work, so a little break has been sounding pretty good to me. The Chilis training team in Bartlesville had their annual float trip planned and invited me to go along. I was thrilled to go and had a fabulous time. I felt pretty anxious leaving Bella all day, but Laura is amazing with her so that put me at ease (atleast as much as possible for my first full day away). The trip was just what I needed. It was a strange experience for me. I was kicked back having a good time, but I still felt this partial feeling of anxiousness and responsibility. I guess that is a feeling I should get used to. My carefree playtime days have been replaced with a new type of playtime. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. I am now home, red-faced, rested, and content. What an amazing trip!

Pickles Please

We have discovered that Bella absolutely loves to lick and suck on pickles. She gets very intent and serious and just goes to town. What a joy it is to see her discover new things and decide what she likes and does not like. We let her try a little bit of lemon..... She didn't care too much for that. Her first taste was sauces from our Chinese meal. She likes sweet and sour as well as the sauce on sesame chicken.

She is changing everyday it seems like. Mornings are her favorite time of day, so it would seem. She is always full of smiles and excitement. It is almost as if she forgot everything overnight and suddenly sees her surroundings and is thrilled to be there. She looks at Laura and I as if she hasn't seen us in forever and has missed us bunches. I wish I could feel the same way in the mornings!

I"m a big kid now!

Well, I may be slow in my adjustment to mommyhood, but Bella sure isn't slow in adjusting to her new environment. At the last doctor's appointment she was up to nearly 9 pounds!!!! She is doing just wonderful. The doctor was very impressed with her physical and social development. She is doing better than even full term two month olds.

I couldn't be prouder. I watched in wonder and amazement as Belly rolled over for the first time. It's emotionally overwhelming experiencing these new changes. I felt proud and excited for Bella, but also nervous and anxious for her safety at the same time. She is growing up quicker than I could have ever imagined. It's only been 11 weeks and already I feel as though I have a lifetime of memories. Sometimes I forget that I once had a life without her in it. That seems nearly impossible now. I have a wonderful daughter who smiles, laughs and even squeels (thats right, she squeeled over memorial weekend). How could I possible love anything more?!?!

I have been working at Chilis and moving stuff slowly into our new little house. We should be able to move in very soon. I am anxious to have my own space again. I am begnning to adjust to my new schedule, but I know that I could not do any of this without my family. They have all been so helpful to me. I am very thankful and appreciative of all the people in my life. I thought moving back to Caney would be horrible because I would be losing everything, but I suppose I just couldn't see all that I was gaining until now. I guess there is more to life than having Target, 24 hour everything and lots of traffic. I have a porch with a quiet nature, a living room full of people, and a gas station where I know most of the people in it. Maybe I can adjust and find that there is more here for me than I thought.

Long Trip

Bella is still growing and amazing me every day. My good friend Kristin came and stayed the weekend. It was wonderful to have a little help. Three of my Chilis friends came on Saturday to see Bella. It was so wonderful to see them. I knew I missed everyone and Kansas City, but I didn't realize just how much until I saw them all get out of the car. On Sunday, Laura, Bella and I took a trip to KC. It was a very long day, but very worth it. The main objective was for me to get a new cell phone to replace the one I broke. I also got to run into Old Navy and tan. We stopped to see a few friends like Veronica and Denise and ofcoarse went to Chilis. It was hard to come back. I'm sure every time will get easier.

Tomorrow I start at Chilis in Bartlesville. I am anxious to have a schedule again, but nervous about being away from Bella so much. It will be worth it though; we will be in our own house soon. This week Bella has begun to stay awake more. I have started laying her on a blanket in the floor surrounded by her toys and her mirror. She has so much fun! She will make faces at herself in the mirror. When you place her rattle in her hand she shakes it all around while constantly kicking her legs. She gets stronger all the time. I am very thankful that she is doing so well. She has even started throwing little tantrums and getting angry. All though these cries are tiresome, I can't help but be happy that she is healthy enough to be so angry. Tomorrow I am going to box up the premie clothes. It's hard to believe it's been seven weeks already.

Sunday will be my first mother's day as a mother. I however am not the brightest and schedules myself to work on Sunday. I guess that's just the way it goes. Bella will go see the doctor on the 20th and I am hoping to get some sort of an estimate on how much longer we will have the monitor.

A whole new wardrobe

Bella is growing every day. I have started to play dress up with all of her newborn clothes. Only a few premie outfits will still fit her. I am so pleased that she has grown this much. She looks very healthy. This weekend we have some friends coming to visit and I am very excited to show her off!

Today when Granny was talking to Bella, we're pretty sure we heard a little squeal. She is more active all of the time. Bella and I took a nap today and I decided she was big enough to sleep with me. We started out with a gap between us, but eventually Bella squirmed until she was right next to me. I woke up and scooted her back over a bit. It wasn't long before she was right back next to me. Moments like that are what makes long nights, headaches, cabin fever all worth it.

We took a long walk yesterday and Bella stayed awake for most of the walk. She would look around and then try and shield her eyes if the sun got in them. I would try and put a blanket so that it shielded the sun, but then she would get upset because she couldn't see. My silly girl.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall

Today we added a new toy to Bella's life. I placed the crib mirror in the bassinet with her. I was quite relieved to have an extra 20 minutes to myself because Bella was completely fascinated with the mirror. I even caught her smiling at herself. What a joy it is to see my little girl discover the world.

We have had a challenging past few days. Bella must be going through a growing spurt because she is eating about every hour most of the day. Occasionally she will sleep for a couple of hours. I am tired, but quite pleased that she is growing and healthy. I am trying to keep my spirits up enough to enjoy the last week before I return to work.

I am anxious to regain activity, but also anxious about being away from Bella. I have the best babysitters ofcoarse.... Granny, Aunt Laura, and Aunt Abbi! Bella is beginning to fit into all of her beautiful clothes. I am excited because she may just barely fit into a dress that I have had set aside for our first mother's day together. I feel as though somebody has given me a key and I can walk through a door and cross to the other side, I am now a grandaughter, daughter, and mother. This feeling of pride sort of makes up for the zombie feeling I have most days!

Bella is wearing Abbi's baby doll dress. My very own baby doll!

Isabella Michelle, 4 days old

Smile

I am amazed each day by Bella's development. Each day a tiny piece of who this little girl is to become is revealed. Yesterday when I went to save her from crying in her bed she smiled with happiness, thankful to be rescued. It was the most amazing feeling. This little, fragile being suddenly became a little bit stronger to me. She truly is amazing. She is starting to become more social with all of us. She is awake more. This frustrates me at times, but mostly makes me thankful that she is doing so well.

Bella has her first sort of toy that she enjoys. My friend Denise gave me a set of soft blocks. Some of the blocks have black and white designs on them. I have started placing a few of them in the pack and play with Bella when she is awake. She is completely mesmerized by them. This wonderful toys not only stimulate Bella's development, but also buy me a little extra time to get things done. Tomorrow we are going to see how Bella likes the crib mirror that I have. This will be a fun new adventure for tomorrow! (strange how boring this would have once sounded to me, but how exciting it sounds now.)